Our lives are FULL of choices from the minute we wake up to the minute we go to bed. What do we want for breakfast; toast or cereal? What do I wear today; a dress or a skirt? Coffee now or coffee later? Therefore, it is a vital skills for our children to be able to answer a choice.
When we ask “what do you want?” to your toddler, there are so many skills needed to answer the question. Here a just a few:
- They have to understand the words used in the question
- They have to understand it is a question, that requires an answer
- They have to understand the social context of the question
- Then, they need to formulate a response, by using words both socially appropriate and grammatically correct!
It is a lot of language demand when asking a simple, “what do you want” type question. If you are in a new environment, with new people and new distractions, this is even harder!
Choices make everything easier. By offering two things and showing them the objects alongside, we are automatically reducing the language demands placed on them. So, you would literally say ‘do you want the “ball” (whilst showing the ball) or the “doll”?’ (whilst showing the doll). This naturally reduces the demand of understanding how to answer a WH question. It also supports their understanding of the words, as the words are visually supported by the objects being shown next to them. Then, all the child has to do, is point to what they want, which reduces the language demand of forming words or sentences to express what they want.
So, in summary, by offering a choice of two, it massively reduces the language demand. However, it doesn’t just stop there. Choices can be broken down even further into easier and harder steps. Before a child makes a choice, they have to want something. If they don’t want it, they aren’t going to request it in the choice. Prerequisites to choice making include:
- the ability to reach towards something to request it
- the ability to push it away when they don’t
- be able to scan two objects to make the choice.
To take it a little further, choices as a whole, can have a differing level of ability. This means if you offer a child two motivating items, i.e. a biscuit and crisps, the choice is harder as they may want both. Whereas, if you offer a child two items with varying motivation, i.e. their favourite crisp and a disliked food item, like a plum, the choice becomes easier.
It is important that you build up to two motivating items before jumping straight into it.
Another way to increase choice making difficulty is to increase the number of objects you offer. Naturally, offering two items, versus six is a lot easier, specifically on their visual attention and scanning skills.
Once they have mastered making a choice from two objects of similar motivation, we can start asking them a choice with no objects alongside. So, you can ask “do you want the biscuit or crisps” with no objects alongside. Be careful though, make sure they don’t just choose the last object offered and make sure to mix up the order you are as asking. They may just be repeating the last said object. If this is the case, go back to showing them the objects alongside.
If a child is able to answer this question consistently, then and only then can we think about asking an open ended ‘what do you want?!’
SO. MANY. SKILLS. Build up to the open ended questions. It’s a lot of skill
